Naughty Paris

The Mardi Lolita sounded like a fun things to do on a rainy Tuesday, so I called some girly friends to go check it out. "What time should we meet?" emails Gentry. "It starts at 7pm," I reply. "Won't we be total dorks showing up on time? It's Tuesday in August,no one will be there." "Well then you can come at 8. I'll be there getting my manicure at 7:30," I reply. Brenna had yoga until 8pm, but I told her we'd still be there watching the Desperate Housewives episodes on the big screen.

I didn't actually make it until 8pm (it's in one of those transportation black holes...I had to take three metros). Gentry was on the upper deck drinking her free Cosmopolitan. "Only the Cosmos are free," she reported. Good thing I like cranberry juice. "And the 'boudoir' sucks." She had arrived at 7:20pm and immediately signed us up for the massages and tarot reader. We were, like, 50th in line. "There's no manicurist tonight, and the make-up person only has eye shadow."

We finished our drinks on the deck and when it started raining again we headed below deck to the 'Boudoir'. It was pretty sad, but what can you expect for free? I brought money for extra drinks, but never ended up buying any. It wasn't that crowded, but there's limited seating options, and most of them are taken up by the friends of the masseuses, make-up artists, tarot reader, etc. We camped out next to the sex toy table, and since we couldn't see the TV screen while we waited for our appointments, we played with the toys.

Apparently they were for sale, but the girl manning the table ignored us when she wasn't flicking her cigarette in our direction. "Wow, I'd really love to know how these things work," I say loudly. "I'd really love to buy one!" added Gentry. Still no attention. At one point a magician came over, obviously paid to entertain us, and started entertaining the sex toy girl and her friends. We began scheming our plot to sell the sex toys ourselves to anyone who looked interested (that might get her attention), when Brenna arrived. "Any toy you want, five euros!"

We found some seats closer to the TV (they'd never seen Desperate Housewives, I was trying to fill in the gaps). Gentry was too distracted checking our progress on the list every ten seconds. "There are 25 people ahead of us and only an hour left. They leave at 10pm," she says. And, right on schedule, at 10pm they all packed up and left (not even a "desolée, on ferme!"). The show we were half-watching cut off mid-episode. The gauzy table cloths and three fashion magazines constituting our boudoir were taken away.

Total bummer.

Not that we didn't have fun. How can you not have fun when out with the girls? So, my advice: go with friends. Get there at 6:45pm. ;)

Paris has cooled off since the July heatwave, so it's a great time to head to Paris Plage and the floating bars moored on the banks of the Seine. Here are two great girly events to check out:

Mardi Lolita (Lolita Tuesdays) are special girly parties on the Bateau Concorde Atlantique (moored on the Left Bank of the Seine across from 23 quai Anatole France, 7th, M° Assemblée Nationle) every Tuesday from 7pm-5am through September 12. Free for ladies, including a free cocktail if you come between 7pm and 10pm (free for guys -- terrace access only -- until 10pm, €10 from 10pm, €15 from midnight). On the upper deck (terrace) is a DJ and a dinner and cocktail menu. Below deck (ladies only) is the "boudoir", with free fortune tellers, massages, make-up artists, manicures, projections of Sex & the City, Nip & Tuck, Desperate Housewives, and The L Word, a juice bar, and a sex toy presentation. From 10pm it becomes a dance club with music from Madonna, Kylie, Blondie, Robbie William, Beyonce, J-Lo, Britney, Bob Sinclar, Black eyed peas, Abba, Donna Summer...for more info call FranK at 06 74 62 00 83.

Over on Paris Plage, celebrating French Polynesia this year, are real Tahitian male dancers (my sources have reported that the washboard stomachs are mighty fine). Head to the Espace Tahiti at the foot of Pont Marie (Right Bank) on the 9th and 10th August at 7:30pm and 9pm to see the Ballet Show Tahiti Nui. If you'd like to learn to dance yourself, there are classes daily through August 20 from 5:30pm-7pm.

Have a great summer!